The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, the bunnies are fucking like rabbits. Tis the season for pleasure and plenty. Happy fapping!

And a merry Beltane to those who celebrate. Nobody ever said the Great Rite has to be performed as a duet!

May your May Pole be proud, large and thick, and may you have many nubile young lovers to wrap it up tightly for you.

Happy May Day! And a blessed Beltane to anyone who celebrates it.

On a recent festival camping trip, I was delighted to finally witness a Maypole ritual. For anyone who doesn’t know what I’m talking about, people erect a giant pole in a central location with ribbons and flowers tied at the top. Then a couple dozen dancers each take a ribbon and weave in and out to wrap the Maypole in rainbow weavings.

As you can imagine, my favorite part is that the Maypole symbolizes a phallus and the wrapping of it symbolizes sex, fertility, and pleasure. Well, to be honest, my favorite part is that everyone accepts there’s a 15-ft tall phallus and we should all play with it. Because in our faith, all acts of love and pleasure are Her rituals, and sex is worth celebrating.

Important takeaway: when you are confronted with a 15-ft tall cock, a perfectly appropriate course of action is to dance around it, wrap it in rainbows, and pleasure it and yourself for all you’re worth.

What do we witches do when we have the Giant cock tied down? Wouldn’t you like to know?

Happy Beltane, y’all!

Reblogging because it got better!

I’ve had a few messages about my post asking more about the Maypole ritual.

Read on for kinky, sexy, witchy history. (Including some of my own personal history with the Great Rite and how that relates to my size fetish.)

Keep reading


I’m not well-versed on neo-paganism (or classical paganism either, really), but my spiritual identity is… complicated. I’ve been labeling it as “agnostic secular earth-based spiritualism.” I was actually just talking about this with a friend, and saying how I have not felt much spirituality these past couple years of struggling with so much in my life. I feel very connected to the spiritual in nature, and though I don’t take my horoscope extremely seriously, I do heavily identify as being an earth sign, as well as with a lot of the more specific Capricorn traits. A lot of pagan imagery appeals to me, especially a lot of Satanic imagery. When I first started listening to the band GHOST, I mentioned this to my same friend, and he said that it’s only so popular because it’s “reactionary,” and I was like, “… I mean, I totally see where that’s true in most cases, but… it really strikes me; it really speaks to me.” He’s quite the religious scholar and was talking about the Satanism of LeVey (which he said was largely based on an early neo-religion called Thelema, which I want to read up on) as opposed to Theistic Satanism, which I think is more what I’m into. And in many representations of both Satan and of nature deities like the Mother Goddess and such, those deities are depicted as larger than the typical human, id not straight-up giant. With Satan/Lucifer/Baphomet/Whoever, there’s an immediate sense of Him being one to worship, especially seeing Him as the counterpart to Jewish/Christian/Muslim God, who in the Old Testament was kind of a bitch about being worshiped and given offerings and whatnot I was raised in the Catholic Church, though I’m very under-educated religiously, but I’ve always been attracted to the… well, you know: like what they just did at the Met Gala. The regalia of it. … I’m losing my train of thought here–so, yes, Satan wants to be worshiped in a very grandiose way, is what I think I’m trying to say. And I never knew what “tantric sex” meant until a couple years ago, and I still don’t really know anything about it, but definitionally, it’s “a practice that is esoteric eroticism and ritualized sex in the name of religion”–the Wikipedia goes on to say that “sex is another aspect of life and a “root of the universe”, in the Tantric view, whose purpose extends beyond procreation and is another means to spiritual journey and fulfillment.” And honestly… that is pretty much how I’ve always felt about sex. That’s not usually how it plays out in reality, but that is my ideal. And the closest I come to realizing that is in size fantasies. I want my giant/ess to be my God/dess. And I want my “real life” romantic interests to be my giant/esses, and so also my God/desses. I want to praise bodies. I want to worship my lovers’ bodies. I want to make a pilgrimage from my home and my life and myself to my God/dess. I want to make ritualistic offerings to them, to construct elaborate shrines to them. I want to walk for miles in the pale morning across dew-covered grass until I return to them, my home. I want to dance under the stars and moon and recite poems about them. I want to submit to them as an obedient servant, like a nun. I mean, there are also about a thousand other related and more complex things that I could mention, but… that’s the gist of it. 

… Is this crazy? Is this extreme? 

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