Just some sex thoughts


Y’know I’ve been thinking about his a lot lately (because it has recently become more relevant than usual), and I’d like to talk a little bit about sexuality, in particular, non-sexual and platonic sexuality?? I know that doesn’t make sense… but hear me out. I’ve recently been doing things with a friend who shall go unnamed, and recently played with them a little bit. Now, this person is EXTREMELY close and dear to me, but not in a romantic way. And to be completely honest, I didn’t even get a smidge aroused (at least not physically, I felt no tingles) when it happened. That does NOT mean that I didn’t enjoy it. I enjoyed it, a LOT. Like I cannot stop thinking about it actually! But… it didn’t really feel super sexual to me… I mean yes but no. It felt… meaningful. Like FUCK, how trusting of a person do you have to be to let them get that intimate with you? And trust is a REALLY BIG DEAL to me. So the whole time I was like… “Fuck, is he really letting me do this??? This is so cool this is so fuckin cool”. And a few times he came close to orgasm (I think, at least. There was occasional moaning and gripping at me) and of course MY heart started racing because… I dunno, it felt good to make my friend feel good. But still, no tingling in my crotch. We were just like…. casually watching TV and laughing at the jokes all the while this whole thing was going on and it just felt… really nice. Like I had no obligations, just getting to explore and chill with someone I feel really comfortable with. The last person I was having sexual relations with kinda made me feel like I was obligated to perform sexual acts on them even when I didn’t feel up to it, and to always make them come even if I was feeling fatigued or suddenly uncomfortable even if I was comfortable with it at the beginning. So it was real nice not feeling that; feeling like I had more control and a choice whether or not to keep going. Didn’t feel like I HAD to make him come. Though I would be happy to. Plus you guys KNOW how much I love squishy wet insides, no matter what type!! Not to mention, I got to feel around a little too; locate different parts of his hip bone, find his bladder. Which was SUPER cool for me, though I feel bad cuz I think I made him have to pee. Whoops! And like don’t get me wrong, when I’m horny sometimes I do imagine stuff with this friend! And I do get physically horny sometimes, both towards him and things and people in general. I CAN feel arousal. Just…. sometimes I don’t. And I still love the sexual stuff for the emotion and curiosity. And that brings me to how my kinks tie into this, I guess! I’ve always LOVED body exploration, sometimes in a sexual way, mostly in a platonic way. I love the idea of letting tiny scientists study my genitalia in a completely platonic non-sexual way! And the idea of it doesn’t really get me aroused, I just love the excitement and taboo of it, and of course the trust element. Same with a tiny friend cuddling my crotch, playing with it (not with sexual intent just playing/exploring), or going inside simply because it’s warm, safe, and cozy inside. I just…. I like it a lot. I love scenarios where a usually sexual seeming act is completely platonic, non sexual, nonromantic. Man, it really gets at my feels!!

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